I've been thinking about the theme for a few days now, and I couldn't decide which of two subjects I wanted to talk to you about, so I'm going for both!
This week we are with family in our family home, and I am really enjoying how my boys are interacting with the adults around them. At the moment they are the only children in the family. These beautiful interactions have been a long time coming! Sausages has always struggled with the attention of other people, but this year he seems to have grown up so much, and is really enjoying spending time with his grandparents, aunties and uncles. They have been doing all sorts of things together! My sister Wooodle has created a detailed story for him every day, culminating in a tea-aged treasure map on Easter Sunday, leading him to the inevitable chocolate treats, and a few pirate books. A year ago he would have struggled to let himself get engaged with this. The irrepressible Bob is absolutely devoted to my mum, and has followed her around all week. I feel so happy that they have these relationships in their lives. Imagine me beaming and beaming!
On the other hand, having moved to a new area where I don't know anyone, I have had to make a real effort to interact with other people and find a new community. I am not good at this - I guess it wasn't from the wind that Sausages got it. I am shy. I really really struggle to get out and surround myself with strangers. But I know that if I don't meet some people I will be sad and lonely, and my boys need other children to play with. So what have I done? I have joined a local group of mothers who identify themselves as "natural parents," who have both an online group for chat, and a monthly meet up. This has been a gateway to finding other things. I have joined my local Positive Birth Movement group in the hope of meeting like-minded women, and I have! The same goes for getting involved with my local La Leche League branches. I have also joined a Facebook group for local advocates of attachment parenting, which again organises occasional meet-ups. I have been going to Mass, but I haven't really managed to meet anyone that way.
It's hard to meet new people, most of all to find real friends. It seems strange to me that Facebook has opened the doors for me, but I have found that it's all about turning the resources we have at our disposal to our advantage. It's popular to bash Facebook and claim that it has a negative impact on community, but without it I wouldn't interact with my cousins so often and so casually; be able to chat with old friends in a relaxed way whenever I have thirty seconds to pop off a message; get support from small private groups of close friends even though they are far away; or find out where to start in building a new community in our new home. I'm getting there, and I'm not alone.
Interactions? Make them where you can. Community? It evolves over time, but it doesn't have to fit into conventional shapes. Please head over to see what Kate and everyone else has made of the theme of "Interactions and Community," and don't forget to let me know about your own thoughts
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I think if you read the posts linked to this challenge, you'll find many of us share the same thoughts and ideas like you:) At least that's what I've been realizing with each post I read, it's nice to know I have company even in the virtual world.
ReplyDeleteMaking friends as an adult is so difficult. Good luck settling in to your new area, and don't feel ashamed of relying on online communities for help with that.
ReplyDeleteI moved into my current home about 3 years ago, I work away from the village, so making friends is a very slow process. I'm planning to get involved with the local flower show this year to expand my horizons, community is what you make it.
ReplyDeleteI know how hard it can be to form connections in a new environment. I've been living in North Africa for about a year and a half and as much as I love discovering new things, there are times when I miss the familiarities of home. Online interactions and making other English speakers has helped me a lot!
ReplyDeleteI love your summing up of Community and feel very similar
ReplyDeleteYour family Easter sounds wonderful. Good luck settling into your new home. I agree that building communities takes time.
ReplyDeleteGood for you for joining any group with real life people! Challenging your comfort zones can be very difficult but rewarding at the same time. Keep up the writing, I enjoyed it a lot!
ReplyDeleteGood for you for joining any group with real life people! Challenging your comfort zones can be very difficult but rewarding at the same time. Keep up the writing, I enjoyed it a lot!
ReplyDeleteWell said. It's tough to be somewhere new and trying to find where you fit. Kudos for stepping outside your comfort zone to create a new community. :)
ReplyDeleteAs someone with very close and good relationships with my family and in-laws, I really love hearing stories about little ones interacting. It's so much fun watching them grow in that way.
ReplyDeleteThank you everyone for your kind comments, I really appreciate them, and knowing that so many of us feel the same way!
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